If I could just skip to the good part of getting married to the love of my life right now, I would. Because I don’t like dating but want a relationship.
Now when I say I don’t like dating, I don’t mean I don’t like going on dates. Because honestly, I love those. 10 out of 10, when I actually like the person. But to get to the part where you actually like someone, you have to get to know them, and that’s where I struggle. Stay with me here, just let me explain.
There Are Too Many Stipulations
First of all, these days you have to go through a “talking stage” before you’re even considered dating. And I don’t know when and why the “talking stage” became a thing, but I would like for it to be dismantled. The talking stage – to me – is nothing but an excuse for people to be attached to someone that they are not committed to. And for what? The name of the entire stage is idiotic to me in the first place because WHAT are we talking about?
It’s literally a step up from friends with benefits and I’m definitely not doing that. Now if these stages work for you, KUDOS! Seriously. I wish I could just be okay with this avoidant attachment style that seems to be popular, but I am not.
Let me be real though…
I’m more of an anxious-disorganized kind of gal myself…. This is a character flaw… I know. I took a little online quiz to figure it out here. They ate me up real bad in the results. Anyways, back to what I was saying…
I don’t like the up-in-the-air feeling of dating these days. I need more consistency; more stability. Otherwise, I just feel like I’m on the fence all the time and need to protect myself.
Again, this is probably why I was given the results, I was given in that quiz. But I gotta live in my truth!
I Want To Be Vulnerable
I also have trouble with talking and dating because I am someone who likes to be able to be my true self. I want to be able to feel vulnerable when I need to. But if I’m just dating or even worse, talking to someone, I don’t feel safe enough to open myself up to another person who doesn’t care to know me in that way. Or even deserve to know me in that way, for that matter.
Now I know what some of you may be thinking, “That’s what dating is for. You go on dates to get to know someone.” And that’s all fine and dandy, but I don’t want to have to get to know 10 different men, I’m sorry. I usually know within a week if I’ll like you or leave you alone, and once I figure that out, my mind is pretty much made up. And If I like you, I’m going to be irritated trying to get to know anyone else.
I also recognize that I am very delusional.
I desire a movie like love. Matter of fact, this past week two of the actors from one of my favorite movies, Love Jones, linked up and I melted. I want my love life to be like Love Jones! Gosh, is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I wish I could be like people who don’t have a problem dating around but even the thought of having to communicate with multiple people is just too exhausting for me.
Now when I first went to college? That version of me could and did, and had fun while doing so. Sigh… I miss her. But even then, I literally would talk to guys for like 2 weeks MAX and would be over it. On to the next one.
I think the bottom line of it all is that I desire and require substance. I don’t like shallow or lukewarm relationships. I want to really know you and let you know me, but if I feel like it’s not a special bond between us, I rather not partake in it at all.
I’m Honest With Myself
I’m a very passionate and loving person, so I don’t strive in relationships where I can’t be. I also have very small patience for people playing in my face. So I have no problem leaving someone where they had me messed up at. 🙂
I pray for my future husband all the time because right now I am BORED. I want him to come get me already. LOL
What about you? Do you like dating or are you more of a relationship person?
