At the end of 2021, I had a vision for myself of what 2022 would look like. I was going to finish my last semester of college strong, I was going to have a car, I was going to have a job offer right out of college, I was going to relocate, I was going to be in a good place with all of my relationships, and I was going to be happy overall. In my mind, if I worked hard enough and had enough faith, it would propel me forward to living the life that I envisioned for myself.
Now what actually ended up happening was not exactly what I was hoping for. Did I finish college strong? Yes, I graduated with honors. Did I end up getting a car? Yes, I got it as soon as graduation was over. Did anything else on the lengthy list of things happen? No. 2022 ended up being a more trying and emotionally taxing year than 2021 was. However, with every lesson comes a blessing and I’ve walked into 2023 with every lesson I’ve picked up and learned over the span of the year.
So here are 10 Lessons from 2022 that I’ve brought into 2023:
- Accomplishments Do Not Determine Value
There is a quote that says, “Make sure your enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears.” It is so easy for us, to encourage and cheer other people on as it pertains to their dreams. And you never like hearing someone you care about getting down on themselves because they may not have reached a goal or got a position that they want yet. Well, for me at least, I immediately become a fountain of wisdom and encouragement, reminding them that everything happens when and how it’s supposed to. Which is very true. But, if I’m being honest, it can be difficult to show that same grace and motivation to yourself during times of disappointment. We can become our own worst enemies. But we have to learn how to be our own cheerleaders and remind ourselves that no amount of achievements or money, determines who we are as a person. What matters most is that you try your best. And what your best is today, may not be what it is tomorrow, and that is 100% okay. The only person or thing that can determine your worth is you.
- It’s Okay To Take A Step Back
Life can be very overwhelming. Especially now when hustle culture is praised and promoted more than ever. Society will try to convince you that you need to push yourself every day all day or else you will not reach your goal. Baby PLEASE! In order to show up as your best self, you need to take care of yourself. So if that means you need to take a break from social media, step away from certain relationships, or even just call in for a mental health day at work… Do it. All of the cares and worries of today will still be there tomorrow. And if it isn’t, it may not have been that important. Life will not pass you by just because you need a moment to reassess. If you’re pouring your all into everything and everyone else in your life, you won’t have anything left to pour into yourself. So take it from me, before you experience burnout… sit down somewhere!
- You Have To Be Honest With Yourself
If I didn’t learn anything else, I definitely learned that I have to be honest with myself in everything in life. It sounds easy to do until you are actively doing it. You can only fake it until you make it for so long though. If you’re happy, admit it. If you’re sad, acknowledge it. If you’re angry with yourself, others, or circumstances, own up to it. You won’t be able to grow and move on from anything, whether it be past traumas or just new chapters in life if you do not have an honest assessment of yourself.
- There’s Nothing Wrong With Changing
Change can be scary. Especially when you see it within yourself. Sometimes you’ll realize small things have changed about you, like your favorite food or color. And other times you’ll realize more significant things about you have changed. Maybe certain relationships don’t serve you in the same way they did years ago. Maybe you’re ready to release past burdens. And maybe your environment is not conducive to the person you are becoming. Whatever it may be, it’s okay. Change may be scary, but it’s necessary. Nothing stays the same, but the spelling of our names. And even then, you can change the way that looks too if you really want.
- You Can’t Help Everyone
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I know we want to be superwomen and men, helping everyone that seems to need it. But we can’t. Half of the time, they may not really want help despite the circumstances and you will drain yourself trying to overextend. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
- Go Where You’re Celebrated, Not Where You’re Tolerated
In 2023 we’re no longer overstaying our welcome in places and around people that do not appreciate us. Call a spade, a spade. If you feel as if you’re always the one going above and beyond for something or someone… and the favor is not reciprocated, it’s time to let it go. The quicker you find out how to detach yourself from spaces that make you feel small, the better. You deserve to be your whole self no matter where you are or who you’re around. Don’t force yourself to fit in a box that is not built for you. You deserve the same energy that you’re willing to give out.
- Your Intuition Never Lies
We have to learn to trust ourselves! NINE times out of ten, we know what’s truly best for us. Even if we try to convince ourselves otherwise. Our intuition is our God-given voice inside of us that will gnaw at us until we listen to it. Can it be annoying? Absolutely. Because sometimes we do want to go outside and have fun, but our intuition is telling us to turn on that TV and lay it on down… and we don’t know why! (yes this is extremely specific because yall… I missed my birthday trip because things kept going wrong and my intuition just told me to leave it alone) … Anyway… the point is to trust your gut. You don’t feel some type of way for no reason. So just listen to it and save yourself some trouble, okay?
- It’s Okay To Say No
This goes back to not overextending yourself this year. You do not have to feel bad for putting yourself first. Sometimes you do not have the capacity to be there for anyone else, but yourself. So in those moments when you feel you’re either on the verge of or already at max capacity socially, mentally, emotionally, physically, or financially, say no. Say no unapologetically. You don’t have to give a reason all the time either. Just stand on your no and be proud of yourself for being there for you.
- It’s Okay To Not Know
We don’t always know either. This can be a rare occasion when you don’t know what your intuition is telling you. Life can become so blurry that you can forget to practice some of the lessons mentioned before. And the moment you do remember to breathe and check in with yourself, you may realize you have no idea what you’re doing. You may not recognize yourself. You may have forgotten why you loved something or someone in the first place. You may have forgotten how to love yourself. That’s normal. There is nothing wrong with you. In the moments when you feel lost, remember that you are not powerless. Not knowing means there is room for more learning. You’ll find your way again.
- Your Village Matters
The type of people you surround yourself with can have a major impact on how you are showing up in the world and for yourself. Don’t surround yourself with people who are negative and discouraging. Don’t settle for anyone treating you less than you deserve. No matter the relationship or how long you have known someone, make sure they are feeding your soul in a positive way. If it was not for my village of people, 2022 would have been even tougher than it already was for me. But having people who check on you, show up for you, and love on you is one of the most helpful tools in the world. Make sure you choose your village wisely.
2022 was a year that probably altered my brain chemistry lol. But overall I came out of it way stronger than I was before. I still haven’t reached all of my goals yet, but I’m focusing on the things that I can control, instead of what I can’t. Here’s to the tears we cried in 2022, for watering the seeds that will harvest in 2023!
Talk Soon! – Alyse
One Response